Sunday 29 July 2018

The Adventurer (1972) episode 22: The Case of the Poisoned Pawn


At first glance you might be confused into thinking this is an Adventurer episode centred around contaminated fish products or lethal top shelf magazines…but this isn’t The Case of the Poisoned Prawns, or The Case of the Poisoned Porn…rather it’s The Case of the Poisoned P-A-W-N. Yes, incredible as it may sound there really is an Adventurer episode that’s all about Gene learning to play chess.

What Rocky did for boxing and Over the Top did for arm wrestling, The Case of the Poisoned Pawn tries to do for chess, as Gene enters into the hi-octane, tough talking world of chess playing. The amount of sporting trophies on display at Gene’s gaff would have you convinced that there isn’t a sport Gene has yet to conquer. Chess though is something of an Achilles heel of his. In fact Gene hasn’t picked up a chess piece since he was 15, and feels he may have disappointed his local priest Father Bartony, by never fulfilling his true potential as a chess player, despite having excelled in other walks of life, such as movie star, multimillionaire, spy, fencer, ladies’ man, sports car driver, cricket player, businessman etc etc. A game of poker offers up the chance to do right by Father Bartony when one of his opponents Brian Hamilton (Stuart Wilson) has a hissy fit after losing to Gene at poker. After throwing poker chips around and storming off from the table this Clubber Lang of the chess world challenges Gene to a game of chess. Poker after all just being a game for wimps, whereas chess is a real man’s game.



It seems there is nothing that gets alpha males locking horns quite like a game of chess, as Gene not only accepts the challenge but bets twenty five thousand pounds that he can kick Hamilton’s ass all over the chess board…the winner takes it all…the loser takes the fall…fight till the beginning of the end!!! With the stakes raised high the chess match attracts all manner of onlookers, including Greek tycoon Nicky Asteri (Martin Benson), the titled Lady Ann Benson (Dawn Addams) and Julia Franklin (Jenny Hanley) an antiques expert and daughter of a Lord.

Mr Parminter has a vested interest in Hamilton too, and wants Gene to cripple him financially in order to discover the mysterious source of all of Hamilton’s wealth. For once Gene is completely out of his depth and in need of a crash course in chess playing. Fortunately he finds a mentor in Brandon the Butler (Dennis Price) who admits to being “rather strong on the Queen’s side”…and as luck would have it Brandon knows how the play chess as well.

Chess playing isn’t usually the type of subject matter that top lists of ideas for TV action series. Sadly with almost everyone involved in The Adventurer on a creative level no longer being with us, it is unlikely we’ll ever know how such an episode came to be green lit. The amount of chess lingo in this episode suggests the work of someone with more than a passing interest in the subject, and Gene’s feelings of regret over never pursuing a chess career come across as genuine. Maybe someone involved in this episode felt that they missed their calling in life, and should have become a world chess champion rather than having ended up making episodes of The Adventurer instead. We can’t overlook though the more likely explanation that by this point Adventurer episodes were being especially written to accommodate Gene’s ‘height thing’. The chess theme conveniently serving as a way for Gene to act alongside various actors without their height becoming an issue. All parties concerned remaining seated around a chess board at all times.

The Case of the Poisoned Pawn’s biggest obstacle is its own premise. Chess- generally played out in total silence and in-between long, meditative pauses by the players- isn’t the most visually exciting of sports. All the good sense in the world would suggest that it doesn’t translate well into either a big or small screen spectacle. Fortunately this Adventurer episode isn’t quite the disaster area that it first sounds. The fact that they were fighting against a premise that had deathly dull written all over it, looks to have caused the makers of this episode to up their game. All manner of plot diversions keep the excitement levels topped up. Gene is sent threatening letters warning him about the ‘poisoned pawn’ and ordering him to call off the game. When that fails Gene is lured to a flat where thugs try to put him out of action. Who knew that the world of chess was this dangerous? Even the usually placid and reserved Parminter is full of fighting talk here “I want you to break him Gene, simply break him”. Whilst Gene musters up an almost Charles Bronson level of onscreen fury, threatening one of the thugs at the flat with “listen you, I was playing that game when you were playing with your teddy bear”.

The Adventurer character who truly comes into his own here though is Brandon the Butler. Usually housebound and blotto, Brandon becomes one of Gene’s biggest assets in this episode. Effectively playing Burgess Meredith to Gene’s Rocky, Brandon makes a rare excursion outside of Gene’s gaff to buy a chess board from Harrods, as well as several ‘Chess for Dummies’ type books, before putting himself and Gene through some physically gruelling chess training sessions.






“Trying hard now 
It's so hard now 
Trying hard now 

Getting strong now 
Won't be long now 
Getting strong now 

Gonna fly now 
Flying high now 
Gonna fly, fly, fly...” 




Director Cyril Frankel gives it all he has got, working into this episode the obligatory appearance by Gene’s silver Chevrolet and an abundance of funky instrumental music onto the soundtrack. Frankel even throws in a montage of Londoners going about their daily business whose leery emphasis on young ladies in miniskirts makes this feel more like a Val Guest directed episode than a Cyril Frankel one. The Case of the Poisoned Pawn also boasts a memorably arrogant and obnoxious villain in Hamilton, who displays a proto-punk type contempt for the older generation. Hamilton agitates Gene by guffawing while Gene reminisces about his tough childhood. The hatred between Gene and Hamilton makes Hamilton one of the few standout Adventurer villains, despite him having to adhere by the series’ rules of not being able to ‘stand up’ very much.

The Case of the Poisoned Pawn is thoroughly guilty of pitting the generations against each other, with the older, self -made Gene from the school of hard knocks butting heads with the cocky, privileged, Oxford educated Hamilton. For all its hip veneer of flash cars, sexy women and funky music, The Adventurer’s target audience increasingly appears to be grumpy old men with a chip on their shoulder about young people. Well, let me correct that slightly…a chip on their shoulder about young men. In comparison young women, especially attractive and not very tall ones, are welcomed with open arms into this world. Gene’s libido in this episode being aimed in the direction of Jenny Hanley, who I suppose qualifies as this week’s love interest, although her screen time is so limited that she and Gene barely get beyond the flirting stage. Nicky Asteri, the Onassis like Greek millionaire, has similar designs on his secretary (Christine Donna) who appears willing...if not exactly eager to become a rich man’s bit on the side.

For those keeping score, Jenny Hanley’s appearance brings the number of cast members The Adventurer shares with Pete Walker’s The Flesh and Blood Show up to three. Narrowly in the lead however is Au Pair Girls, Christine Donna’s presence in this episode meaning that The Adventurer now shares four cast members with Au Pair Girls.



As The Adventurer shuffles into its twilight years it does begin to display a wandering eye for the older ladies as well, and with that a willingness to acknowledge that women over the age of thirty can be sexy too. Widows with ties to nobility being a type that particularly gets this series’ pulse racing. Barbara Murray was last week’s ‘older woman’ figure, while here it’s the turn of Dawn Addams to play the type of character referred to in the Kinks’ song ‘Don’t Forget to Dance’ as “a nice bit of old”.

A degree of sexual double standards is still at play here though, The Adventurer has no beef with Gene and Nicky Asteri making moves on younger women, but has issues with Addams’ character doing likewise with younger men. Addams’ character Lady Benson being depicted as rather pathetic for having a toy boy around, who of course is secretly exploiting her. The big revelation of The Case of the Poisoned Pawn being that Hamilton had been Lady Benson’s gigolo, and saw the twenty five thousand prize money as a way out of Lady Benson’s orbit. Desperate to avoid this scenario Lady Benson sent Gene the threatening letters in the hope that Gene would call the chess game off. When that failed she turned to her friend Nicky, who sent the thugs after Gene as a more effective deterrent to playing chess.

All of which leaves you to ponder, who is the actual good guy in this episode? While Nicky Asteri is a sleazy and sexually predatory character he also seems to be acting out of loyalty to his friend Lady Benson, attempting to put the kibosh on the chess game so that she can keep her younger lover around. On the other hand Gene’s determination to win the chess game results in Hamilton being jailed (after losing the game he resorts to stealing jewellery from Lady Benson and is immediately arrested by Parminter) as well as Lady Benson having on fork out twenty five thousand as a result of Hamilton losing the chess game. So Lady Benson is now seriously out of pocket, deprived of a younger lover, and is likely to end her days as a lonely, sex starved spinster, cheers Gene.

Sadly with The Case of the Poisoned Pawn the series sheds yet another regular cast member as we wave goodbye to Dennis Price aka Brandon the Butler. The double-act of Gene and Dennis Price and their unlikely bromance, had been one of the more entertaining aspects to these episodes, making it doubly sad to see him go. Still The Case of the Poisoned Pawn did at least give his character something to do for once, and saw Brandon supplant Mr Parminter as both Gene’s sidekick and the object of Gene’s ‘humour’. This episode might end with Gene playing a joke at Brandon’s expense, with Gene proposing a toast to his ‘mentor’ only to then raise a glass to Father Bartony rather than Brandon. However the last laugh truly goes to Brandon who manages to sneak in one last dirty look in Gene’s direction before we fade to black. Few facial expressions scream ‘why you ungrateful old bitch’ quite like the last look we get of Dennis Price in The Adventurer.


Sunday 22 July 2018

The Adventurer (1972) episode 21: The Not-So Merry Widow


So, you are playing the lead in a TV series from the golden age of white male privilege. A series that has a revolving door of attractive female co-stars, and an episode opens with your character undergoing a thorough massage. Who do you choose to give you an onscreen rub-down then? Well, in Gene’s case the answer is a burly, balding middle aged man who bares more than a passing resemblance to Nosher Powell. In fact, if this isn’t Nosher Powell then he must have a doppelganger. Fortunately for Nosh he was spared any blushes by the fact that the role of ‘Jenkins the Masseur’ goes mysteriously uncredited.

As Jenkins beats a hasty retreat, it’s a case of ‘Exit the Masseur, Enter the Butler’ as we welcome back a familiar face to the series. Yes, Brandon (Dennis Price), London’s most intoxicated Butler, is back in town, and looks to be kicking himself over missing out on whatever shenanigans have been going on between Gene and Jenkins. At least Brandon manages to cop an eyeful of the master of the house as Gene quickly whips a towel around himself, which after an 11 episode absence was surely worth returning to the series for.



On account of his habit of exposing himself to his butler, and all these visits from masseurs, you’d think Gene would be grateful for any publicity that portrayed him as rampantly heterosexual. This doesn’t appear to be the case though, and when Gene is romantically linked to a married woman within the pages of Tatler magazine it not only ruffles Gene’s feathers, but results in an army of tabloid reporters on his doorstep. Fittingly, given this rather gay themed opening, among the actors playing the reporters is David Rayner, soon to find a niche for himself playing gay comic relief in British sex comedies like Sexplorer, The Office Party and Secrets of a Door to Door Salesman. Brandon proves surprisingly useful in this scene and manages to repel the tabloid hacks by jabbing his fingers into Rayner’s forehead. Just one display of the deadly ‘Dennis Price- Touch of Death’ being enough to keep the entire mob away. Bruce Lee would have been proud.



Sadly of course being kept at bay by the Dennis Price touch of death, meant that David Rayner wasn’t able to use his famous “I like your shirt” catchphrase from the TV series ‘Not on your Nellie’…and my God, if ever there was a character worthy of being the recipient of that catchphrase –which ridicules flamboyantly dressed straight men- it was Gene Bradley.

Much can be learned about the contradictions and double standards of the era from this Adventurer episode. While the series never takes Gene to task for having a different love interest just about every other week, the suggestion of him having an affair with a married woman is taken very seriously, and is a wrong that immediately needs to be set right. Womanising and promiscuity might be acceptable behaviour from an action hero in a 1970s TV series, but being a home wrecker was a definite social no-no.

However Gene doesn’t have to wait long to clear his name, in fact the woman who done him wrong quickly shows up on his doorstep offering apologies. It seems that the fire had gone out of the marriage of Lady Diane Battersley (Barbara Murray) and in order to reignite it she has tried to evoke the green eyed monster in her husband by feigning a red hot love affair with Gene. To achieve this goal, dirty Diane hired a photographer and had him snap away whenever she has been around Gene at social events, before forwarding the incriminating evidence on to Tatler magazine. It is all a rather elaborate scheme just to whip up a bit of jealousy in Lady Diane’s husband, Walter. No surprise then, that there is more to Lady Diane’s scheme than meets the eye, and when Gene visits Sir Walter’s home he is knocked unconscious. To add insult to injury Gene then finds himself in the frame for Sir Walter’s murder when he wakes up to discover Sir Walter’s abode trashed and blood splattered.



Given that the 1960s spy boom was responsible for transforming Burke’s Law into Amos Burke- Secret Agent, it does seem ironic that the Amos Burke- Secret Agent derived The Adventurer should now be harking back to Burke’s Law with this murder mystery/police procedural themed episode. Gene is certainly channelling the Amos Burke character here, with Gene Bradley turning detective in order to clear his name, and the character’s regular side-lines as a spy and a movie star either fleetingly alluded to or ignored completely. In another echo of the Burke’s Law format, this episode offers up a parade of quirky murder suspects for Gene to grill, including Sir Walter’s business partner Geoffrey Cains (Maurice Kaufmann) who makes no secret of his hatred for Sir Walter, and Sir Walter’s niece Vanessa (Angela Douglas) a photographer whose obsession for plants rivals Gene’s obsession with his co-stars’ height.

The Not-So Merry Widow was the last of four Adventurer episodes to be written by the Brooklyn born Marty Roth (1924-2000). Whereas the majority of the series’ writers had long histories with ITC, Roth’s background was in American TV and these Adventurer episodes would end up being his only British credits. Given his outsider status it is surprising to discover that among his Adventurer credits were ‘Return to Sender’ and ‘Miss me once, Miss me twice...Miss me once again’, two of the most stereotypically ‘ITC’ episodes that the series had to offer. The Not-So Merry Widow though, does come across as an attempt to steer the series in a different, almost film noir like direction. It is an episode I do have mixed feelings about. If I’m being honest I have to admit it didn’t grab me all that much, the supporting characters are a rather dull bunch and the storyline uninvolving, yet the quality of the writing is way above average for this series. Roth undoubtedly had an ear for noirish dialogue “money doesn’t buy friends, only rents them”, and the amount of witty dialogue here is an atypical, but welcome, addition to the series. Roth can also take credit for the most intentionally funny dialogue exchange ever heard in The Adventurer, when Gene tries to justify breaking into Vanessa’s room by claiming ‘the door was open’, only for Angela Douglas to shoot back with “so is the top button of my shirt, but that doesn’t mean everything underneath isn’t private property”. A line delivered with all the gusto you’d expect from an actress who’d been in numerous Carry On movies. In light of this episode’s mixture of comedy and murder mystery elements it comes as no surprise that Roth’s earlier TV work had included lots of sitcoms (I Dream of Jeannie, My Favourite Martian, McHale’s Navy) or that his future lay in US detective shows, his later credits including the likes of Mannix, Barnaby Jones, Vega$ and Hart to Hart.



Roth’s writing, along with a particularly engaged performance by Barbara Murray as the deliciously wicked Lady Diane (pronounced ‘Dee-Anne’) are the highlights of an otherwise underwhelming Gene Bradley outing. A sense of ‘let’s just get this series over with’ hangs over this episode. Gene mumbles his way through his dialogue, while male co-stars Maurice Kaufmann and Charles Kay look thoroughly bored by roles that –surprise, surprise- require them to do the usual amount of slouching and sitting down in Gene’s presence. At least Brandon the Butler is on hand to provide comic relief, whether it is by nosily listening in on Gene’s conversations though the keyhole or his uncanny ability to show up whenever alcohol is around. Brandon is a man whose glass is never half empty.



I do have to wonder… am I a bastard for finding amusement in the fact that so many idolised TV shows of yesteryear have had multiple episodes wiped from existence…Doctor Who…The Avengers…Top of the Tops…Dad’s Army…Adam Adamant Lives!...Ace of Wands…the lists goes on, and yet every single episode of The Adventurer survives. Life just isn’t fair, is it? In the case of The Not-So Merry Widow though, even I might be tempted to offer up this Adventurer episode to the flames in return for one of those other series’ wiped episodes being brought back from the dead…why do I get the feeling that Nosher Powell would be in agreement?



Incidentally, a trek into the pop culture wasteland that is YouTube reveals that this Adventurer episode wasn’t the first time Gene was the recipient of some hands on attention from his male co-stars. So, let’s end this week with this tender moment from Bat Masterson, which feels straight out of the gay version of Eskimo Nell, complete with dialogue that is practically begging to be misinterpreted as homosexual innuendo “it would take an awfully big fee to get me back to those mangy bears”. Be warned though, Gene is singing again…

Monday 16 July 2018

The Adventurer (1972) episode 20: Going, Going…


‘Has Gene gone over to the dark side’ is the question that hangs over this episode of The Adventurer. Whether it is a reflection of Gene’s unpopularity with the cast and crew, or just a coincidence, the tail end of the series is rather fond of calling Gene’s character into question and flirting with the idea that he might be a bad guy. It is a theme repeated in at least two upcoming episodes ‘Make it a Million’ and ‘Mr Calloway is a Very Cautious Man’. The intro to this episode sure doesn’t paint him as the hero of the piece, with Gene ignoring calls for assistance from Mr Parminter, frivolously throwing his money around and mocking the way Oriental people speak.

As much as Parminter worships Gene, even he is forced to concede that Gene’s behaviour is worthy of further investigation and reluctantly puts Diane and Gavin on the case. ‘Going, Going…’ is a real jigsaw puzzle of an Adventurer episode, nothing makes much sense to begin with, and only over time do all the pieces come together and the bigger picture becomes more clearer. The most important part of the puzzle is a Ming vase that Gene has bought at auction, outbidding several other characters including German bad guy Eisen (Arnold Diamond) and Japanese bad guy Koji Taiho (Burt ‘let’s hope nobody realises I was also in episode 12’ Kwouk). The Ming vase turns out to be a fake, but Gene insists on the sale going ahead anyway. Once in possession of the Ming, Gene traces its design onto paper, then smashes it into bits and disposes of some of the pieces…but not all of them. Gene’s phone is then bugged by a fake telephone engineer, confusing Gavin who shows up at Gene’s place posing as another fake telephone engineer…and while he too, had intended to bug Gene’s phone ends up removing the bug left by the previous fake engineer. Confused? You will be. In fairness ‘Going, Going…’ obviously wants to play to the audience’s inner-sleuth, by offering up the challenge of deciphering Gene’s seemingly illogical behaviour.



Gene might dominate ‘Going, Going…’, but I’d still classify this as a New Adventurers episode. A shared sense of confusion tends to bond the audience to Parminter, Diane and Gavin here, whereas Gene’s actions only alienate and arouse suspicion. Come to think about it, this would have been an ideal point to have written Gene out of the show and continue on with the New Adventurers formula…and it often feels as if that was the episode the series’ creators wished they were making. Exposing the lead character as a bad guy 20 episodes into a 26 episode series would have certainly shaken The Adventurer up quite dramatically…but it was not to be. Instead the off-screen balance of power tipped in Gene’s favour and ‘Going, Going…’ spelt the end for the New Adventurers, this episode marking the last time Parminter, Gavin and Diane are seen together onscreen.

Cracks in Gene’s ‘bad guy’ act begin to show and it comes as no big surprise when its revealed he has just been pretending to go rogue, and the plot finally begins to make some sense. The person who put the Ming up for auction was Lynsky (Norman Ettlinger) a defecting Russian chemist who had disappeared while seeking asylum in Britain. The vase was in fact a smokescreen for what he was really auctioning off which was a chemical formula of great value to the world of big business. When traced onto paper the design on the vase could be placed over a map of London which then reveals when and where the winning bidder could meet Lynsky and receive the formula. Good God, what a hyper-paranoid lot we were during the cold war.

Despite having been outbid by Gene at the auction, his rivals in the field of big business aren’t prepared to take defeat lying down. While the Russians bug Gene’s phone, German businessman Eisen pays Gene’s butler to double cross Gene and deliver the broken vase to him. Incidentally, the deceitful butler in question isn’t ‘Brandon the Butler’ rather it is ‘Brooks the Butler’ (Norman Bird) who has temporarily been filling in for Brandon. Brooks and Brandon are so strikingly similar characters, both having an air of untrustworthiness about them, that you do have to wonder whether the series’ original plan was to have Brandon go bad and end up betraying his employer. An idea possibly nixed due to the series’ aversion to story arcs and a desire to keep Dennis Price around, resulting in this facsimile character Brooks being drafted in for one episode. Should anyone wonder what has become of Brandon, a brief dialogue exchange between Gene and Parminter reveals that Brandon has been called away to visit his ill sister, a piece of dialogue that ushers in Dennis Price’s return to the series in next week’s episode.

Going, Going…’s script by Gerald Kelsey boasts a number of clever plot twists but overall this is an Adventurer episode that spins way too much of a complicated web. One that can never be satisfactorily unravelled within a 25 minute running time. It is never explained what exactly Lynsky’s formula is or why it should be the subject of such a hard fought battle for its ownership. Why Gene chooses to exclude the other Adventurers from his plans is also something of a mystery, especially as it needlessly turns characters who are meant to assist Gene, into obstacles who inadvertently hinder him. In light of all the backstage drama it does however feel rather fitting that the final New Adventurers episode should be one that pits Gene against his colleagues. Life mirrors The Adventurer …and all that.



This series does become more of a homebody towards the end, preferring London settings to overseas ones, as the wintery months rob Europe of much of its appeal. The cheque Gene signs for the vase indicates this episode is set in October 1972, and since the episode was first broadcast in January 1973, ‘Going, Going…’ was likely filmed in Oct 1972 as well. Should anyone be interested, the time between the filming and broadcasting of Adventurer episodes appears to have been just over two months (‘Thrust and Counter-Thrust’ was filmed in early August 1972 and first shown in October of that year) illustrating just how quickly ITC were knocking these episodes out. It is easy to see the logic behind that kind of scheduling, with those early, sun drenched episodes first being unveiled during the closing months of 1972, and having tremendous appeal on chilly, dark British nights. Alas, by the time of episodes like this, winter had caught up on the series, and the world of The Adventurer looks no more inviting than the day to day reality of the cold, early months of the year that they were broadcast in. Where is Gene’s Paddington Bear coat when he needs it?



All the positives to this episode tend to rest on the shoulders of its co-stars, Bridget Armstrong raises a few laughs as Gene’s all fur coat and no knickers love interest who keeps calling the Ming vase a ‘mink’ and has lines like “all that money for a pot”. Burt Kwouk is always a welcome presence in anything, even if nether of his Adventurer episodes are exactly what you’d call series highlights. In order to differentiate him from the character he played in the ‘Deadlock’ episode, Kwouk here sports a fake moustache and dyed grey hair. Unlike his Deadlock character, which played around with Oriental villain stereotypes, ‘Going, Going…’ wholeheartedly embraces them, giving Kwouk broken English speech patterns and a fondness for sub- Confucius nuggets of wisdom like “man who has hen house does not buy eggs”. Kwouk’s character, Koji Taiho, also has a habit of injecting the word ‘honorary’ (or slight variations thereof) into every other sentence, rivalling the likes of ‘frightfully’ and ‘Astrid’ when it comes to overused words in an Adventurer episode.

Unfortunately the writer of this episode must have been blissfully unaware of the Gene-Catherine Schell situation, as ‘Going, Going…’ breaks the unwritten law of New Adventurers episodes that ‘thou shall not write scenes featuring Catherine and Gene in the same room together’. A faux-pas that finally alerted Gene to the fact that Catherine had been secretly co-starring in the last several episodes. Based on what Catherine Schell has to say on the matter in the DVD extras, Gene wasn’t pleased “obviously the writers hadn’t been warned (and) I had to do a scene with Gene Barry. So I’m walking down the corridor towards my dressing room and Gene Barry is coming opposite and he looks at me and says ‘what are you doing here’ and I said ‘well, I’m working Gene’, ‘no you’re not, you’re off the picture’ and I said ‘no, I’m not, I’ve been written back into the picture’. So he was in not the best of mood when we had to do the scene together and I remember he kept fluffing his lines, which he did very, very often”. 

Of course it is impossible to look at the scene in question in the same light, once you’ve been clued in on the behind the scenes drama. It is always amusing to watch people buddying up on screen, when you’re aware they couldn’t stand each other in real life. Gene and Catherine…the Mike and Bernie Winters of the ITC world. Ever the pro, Catherine does her best to sell the idea that Diane loves being in Gene’s company. Gene on the other hand gives the impression he’d rather be anywhere else. His dialogue ironically includes the jokey suggestion that “I could get you to resign”. An awkward moment…captured on film forever.



So with ‘Going, Going…’ Diane Marsh was cast out into the cursed earth, never to be seen in The Adventurer again. If there is a slightly positive spin that can be put on the raw deal Gene’s co-stars got from the series, it is that the experience didn’t destroy anyone’s career. If anything those involved went from strength to strength afterwards, and their best years were still ahead of them. Catherine herself went on to delight cinema audiences in 1975’s The Return of the Pink Panther, and built up a solid resume of film and television credits. Returning to the ITC fold for the second series of Space:1999, it would be that series that truly made Catherine Schell a household name. Thanks to the ironic role of Maya, a shape shifting extra-terrestrial who –in a scenario right out of Gene’s nightmares- had the ability to transform herself into all manner of creatures, including some really, really tall space monsters. Not only did those crazy cats who made Space: 1999 allow the Hungarian giantess to get away with that, they even allowed her to pose for publicity photos wearing high heeled boots….avert your eyes now Gene.

Monday 9 July 2018

The Adventurer (1972) episode 19: Full Fathom Five


There is no escaping the fact that Full Fathom Five is a bit of a mess of an Adventurer episode, cast members go uncredited, there are too many subplots and an overall sense of a production that is coming off the rails. This week everyone is on the search for three stained glass windows that were removed from a monastery in Belgium during WW2 and buried at sea. The only person who possesses a map pin-pointing where the windows are buried is elderly sea captain Andre Gustave (Donald Eccles). In an echo of ‘The Bradley Way’ episode the sickly old man has found himself surrounded by people with sinister motives for caring for him. Masterminding the scheme is Doctor Rymans (Peter Jeffrey) who in yet another echo of The Bradley Way episode, installs a faux-nurse (Rona Newton-John, older sister of Olivia) to keep a watchful eye on the ailing Gustave. For all of their best efforts though, Gustave manages to hand over the map to his granddaughter Maria (Prunella Ransome) on his death bed. Immediately making her a person of interest to Gene and Mr Parminter, as well as placing her in danger from Dr Rymans and his cohorts.



Full Fathom Five is essentially another ‘New Adventurers’ episode with particular emphasis on Mr Parminter. Despite the fact that Catherine Schell and Garrick Hagon go accidentally uncredited in this episode, Diane and Gavin do however occasionally pop up to lend Parminter a much needed hand. In fact Full Fathom Five is a rather crowded compartment of an episode, juggling plots about the New Adventurers, Maria Gustave’s plight, and the obligatory attempts to work Gene into the story. For a one-episode character Maria Gustave is allocated a surprising amount of screen time here. In another unusual move, Maria isn’t just the standard ingénue/damsel in distress that tends to be the norm for female characters in this series. Rather she is a cunning, moral question mark of a character, who forever teeters on the brink of being the piece’s villainess. No sooner as she acquires the map then Maria has her hand out for filthy lucre, displaying no qualms about backtracking on her promise to sell the map to Mr Parminter when a better offer from Rymans comes along. Thereafter Maria plays a dangerous game of pitting various bidders for the map against one another. Not only do her actions place herself in danger, but they also result in Parminter being on the receiving end of a beating and one of her grandfather’s oldest friends being murdered. In a series that is big on holding characters to account for their actions, the lack of consequences for the chaos Maria leaves in her wake is another surprise break from series tradition.

Barry Morse’s portrayal of Mr Parminter continues to be the glue that is holding the series together at this point. For an actor whose best known roles –Lt. Gerard in The Fugitive and Professor Victor Bergman in Space:1999- were deeply serious characters, it is surprising to discover what a gift for comedy Morse had. While in the previous episode Parminter had displayed flashes of efficiency, here he is back to being British intelligence’s one man disaster area. Morse is on fine comedic form in Full Fathom Five with Parminter’s inherent politeness hilariously undercutting his futile attempts to appear threatening “out of my way…please” he begs a thug, before being knocked out with just one punch. In a gag that the New Adventurers episodes are especially fond of, Parminter only wins fights as a result of ‘happy accidents’. Heavies have a tendency to charge at Parminter at the very moment he ducks down…or Parminter will offer to help an adversary to their feet only for them to collide with his hand and knock themselves out instead. In this particular episode Parminter accidentally backs into Rymans, painfully jabbing his cane into Ryman’s mid-section in the process. Sure, it is basic age old slapstick comedy material, but Morse pulls it off with great aplomb. The writers of Full Fathom Five even managed to invent a catchphrase for Mr Parminter “oh dear, oh dear”. Parminter might be as unconventional an action hero as they come but to all intents and purposes he really is ‘The Adventurer’ now, and anyone tuning into the series at this point could be forgiven for being confused as to which character the title refers to.



Another noteworthy change to the series is in its choice of backdrops. Whereas at the outset The Adventurer was as much of an open advertisement for foreign holiday destinations as any classic era ITC show, at this point the series appears to be on a mission to sabotage that appeal. These later Adventurer episodes display a true eye for the ugly, and have a habit of making Europe look as dreary and depressing as possible. This is a series with a particularly heavy jones for docklands settings; you can barely keep the series away from them. If you’ve ever wanted to see every miserable looking docklands and rusty old ship that Europe had to offer in 1972 then you’ve really hit the jackpot with The Adventurer. A trip to Antwerp’s docklands for Mr Parminter is therefore inevitable. Combine this with a visit to a building site and the picture postcard views of Nice from the earlier episodes are starting to feel like a long time ago. Suffice to say anyone watching Full Fathom Five back then would have been likely to have crossed Antwerp off their list of future holiday destinations, if not decided it was better to stay at home that year.

Noticeably absent from these fun excursions to the building sites and docklands of Europe is Gene himself. This week’s excuse for keeping him at arm’s length from his regular co-stars seemingly being that he’d rather hang out with people from Hammer Horror movies instead. Gene initially being seen in this episode in the company of Judy Matheson, one of the great British horror heroines of the 1970s, thanks to appearances in the likes of Crucible of Terror, The Flesh and Blood Show, and Hammer’s Lust for a Vampire and Twins of Evil. Remaining seated throughout the scene (at, but of course, Gene’s insistence) Judy plays Claire Adams, a freelance journalist looking to pay her rent that month by getting an exclusive scoop on the life of Gene Bradley.



Given that the series revolves around Gene’s double life as a spy being a closely guarded secret, it comes as a surprise to hear Claire bring it up in conversion as if it were common knowledge. “I’ve heard that sometimes your telephone rings and you’re invited to help out in the most hazardous adventures” she tells him. Gene’s attempts to change the subject are, rather inconveniently, interrupted by his phone ringing with an invite to help out in a most hazardous adventure!! So poor Claire –who comes across as a more saner version of Ann Somerby- is denied her Gene Bradley exclusive, and has no way of paying her rent that month. Still… what red blooded good guy wouldn’t want to ditch a beautiful woman and leave her in a dire financial situation, when he can instead hotfoot it over to Belgium and hang out with a bunch of elderly monks. So, it is good bye Claire and hello Father Antonius, as Gene helps the monks to try and buy back the stained glass windows from Maria Gustave. Thus providing this week’s tenuous connection between Gene and the main plot, as well as the chance to cast another Hammer Horror alumni. Father Antonius being played by André Morell, heroic lead in the Hammer classic The Plague of the Zombies.

What with the writing being on the wall for Catherine Schell’s character and Garrick Hagon only sporadically appearing in the rest of the series, Full Fathom Five does have the feel of a try-out for future, potentially reoccurring characters in the series. While it is doubtful Father Antonius had legs as a character outside of this episode, Claire Adams had a bit more potential. The fact that Gene would have to go to great lengths to conceal his career as a spy to the women in his life is an angle rarely touched upon in the TV series (it is dwelled upon more so in the tie-in novelisation). If only because his love interests are never around for more than one episode each…such is the promiscuous yet fundamentally empty life of Gene Bradley. So the introduction of a Vicki Vale type character, forever on the verge of exposing Gene’s double life, could have brought something new and exciting to the series. Sadly it was not to be, and like all of the other new characters that Full Fathom Five introduces; Claire Adams was destined to be a one episode nay one scene wonder.

It says allot about Parminter’s growing presence in the series that whereas once he was strictly second fiddle to Gene, now secondary characters are being written around Parminter himself. Full Fathom Five being the first and last time we meet Parminter’s superior Sir Richard, who in keeping with this episode’s theme of “you don’t have to have appeared in a Hammer horror film to guest star in this Adventurer episode, but it helps” is played by Michael Gwynn, the tragic creature from The Revenge of Frankenstein. At the risk of sounding like Gene himself, how goddamn tall is Sir Richard? At 6’4’’ Michael Gwynn may well be the tallest actor to ever grace the series, and makes the rest of the New Adventurers look pint sized in comparison. Does it even need pointing out that Gene and Sir Richard never share scenes together?



Not unlike Mr Parminter himself Full Fathom Five is shambolic but not without its charm. Once in a blue moon it even manages to deliver the occasional effective blow…even if it is mainly to the funny bone than anywhere else. This is also the only Adventurer episode to come complete with its own detailed hangover cure, told by Gene to Claire Adams. So if you want to follow Gene’s advice, here is the Bradley way to make a Prairie Oyster “it’s the yolk of an egg, with Worcestershire sauce, vinegar, tomato ketchup, sprinkled on the top with a bit of pepper”. Admittedly Gene’s hang-over cure doesn’t sound too inviting…and in keeping with this week’s Hammer horror theme it actually looks like he is downing a glass of someone’s blood. Still, who knows…it might work, after a few prairie oysters Adventurer episodes like this one might even start to make sense.