Doctor Carver (2021)

 

Louisa Warren’s latest film Doctor Carver (aka Conjuring the Plastic Surgeon, aka Conjuring the Demon Plastic Surgeon) finds 24 year old model Tonya (Chelsea Greenwood) on a downward spiral. At the film's outset, Tonya is belittled and sexually assaulted by a particularly foul photographer, on the verge of being dropped by her agent, and is the subject of online ridicule by a social influencer. Believing her lack of success, and the collective kick in the teeth she faces from the fashion industry, stems from the size of her nose, Tonya opts for a nose job after receiving a call from the mysterious ‘Look Perfect’ agency, who are offering free plastic surgery to a handful of women. Of the others chosen, Dina (Julia Quayle) wants liposuction to stop her boyfriend from cheating, Belle (Amanda-Jade Tyler) wants to roll back the years with Botox, and glamour model Peppa (Sofia Lacey) wants bigger boobs. The woman behind the offer, Alexa (Danielle Scott) is no kind hearted Willy Wonka though, and predictably has a sinister motive for luring the women to her cosy, but isolated country house (the same one recently used by Warren in Tooth Fairy: The Last Extraction). The first sign of trouble comes when the women discover they have to turn to the supernatural to make their plastic surgery dreams come true, and are asked to perform a séance in order to summon a demonic plastic surgeon (Zuza Tehanu) from the other side. Resembling Leatherface’s long lost kid sister, the surgeon’s appearance does raise awkward questions as to why the women don’t run for the hills when confronted with a character wearing a bloody apron and who seemingly has a portion of mince meat for a face, let alone actually consider letting it operate on them.

If you’re prepared to overlook this though, Doctor Carver does boast a pretty decent looking creature, with the make-up job and costume here being a massive step up from what Warren has had to make do with in her Leprechaun movies. The scenes involving the demonic plastic surgeon also benefit from an Argento style lighting scheme, that renders whole rooms in primary reds and blues, and suggests that Warren’s DP does their shopping at ‘Suspiria R’ Us’.

Warren’s previous film, The Leprechaun’s Rage, lead us down a very silly path indeed, and while there is scope for Doctor Carver to follow suit, this is an altogether darker affair. One that sees Warren tackle themes of online bullying, sexual harassment, body image, botched plastic surgery operations and the rotten underbelly of the fashion industry. At the same time Doctor Carver doesn’t lose sight of the fact that it is fundamentally a horror film, and avoids falling into the modern genre film trap of being a moral lecture first and entertainment a very distant second.

Having cultivated a down to earth, Yorkshire lass persona in recent Brit horrors, Chelsea Greenwood graduates to likeable leading lady here, giving her best performance to date, and as an ex-model herself, one that she was certainly qualified to play. As much as her character, Tonya, dominates the film, she doesn’t escape the film’s critical eye, especially over Tonya's willingness to go under the knife, and her naivety in blindly taking Alexa up on her offer. If anything the film finds its relatable voice of reason with Tonya’s boyfriend Dan (also the film’s token American character) who attempts to deter her from having the nose job, particularly as it is so clearly motivated by a need to fit into an industry that has done nothing but use and humiliate her. Dan is also smart enough to smell a rat when it comes to Alexa, and her too good to be true offer of free surgery.

In contrast to Chrissie Wunna’s character in the recent ‘Curse of Bloody Mary’ who at least felt remorse over selling out several fellow women to a supernatural figure, the thoroughly wicked Alexa, seductively attired in a nurse’s outfit, revels in the sadistic torture and murder that she and her supernatural cohort preside over. Its sobering to think that the gross-out incidents which befall characters in this film, be it broken noses, needles wiggled about under the skin and silicone forced into flesh wounds, are also the same procedures that have become so socially acceptable for young, and not so young, people to undergo in real life. Not even the monstrous surgeon can keep from expressing its disgust at society’s obsession with the body beautiful, telling one victim “time and time again you silly girls make their breasts bigger and bigger to match their pay checks” while threatening Tonya’s exploitative agent with “you deserve your own place in hell”. All in all, its promising start to what is obviously intended to become a horror franchise, a sequel –set in an old people’s home- is apparently already in the can.

Doctor Carver is up for free on the V horror channel, but...and it’s a big but...there is a snag. The version the V channel have uploaded to Youtube has been heavily cut, removing the majority of the gore, and rendering several key scenes near incomprehensible. It’s the kind of excessive editing that you’d hope we’d left behind with the Ferman era BBFC. Strangely, V have however uploaded the full, uncut version of the film to the Portuguese version of their Youtube channel (where Warren’s film is known as ‘Carver- Cirurgiao Demonio’) a comparison between the two versions revealing that nearly four minutes of footage has been exercised from the English language upload. Presumably the powers that be think that their Portuguese speaking audience has stronger stomachs than their English speaking counterparts. Warren’s film is also up on Amazon Prime in the US, but I’m unsure which version they’ve ended up with.

 

The Leprechaun's Rage (2021)

Begorrah, just when you thought it was safe to kiss the Blarney Stone, the world's tallest Leprechaun from Louisa Warren's The Leprechaun's Game (aka Vengeance of the Leprechaun) is back. This time in urgent need of a four-leaf clover is Tilly (Sofia Lacey) who has inherited a Manor House from her deceased father. Unfortunately the house was bought by her crooked step-brother (Lee Hancock) with stolen leprechaun gold. Now taking up residence in the place puts Tilly, her friends, her stepmother (Chrissie Wunna) and her himbo boyfriend (Stephen Staley) at risk from a second round of shenanigans from the Lep, once again played by Bao Tieu. Who as a 5' 4" Cheshire born shaolin Kung Fu performer probably never imagined that playing an Irish leprechaun would be part of the career plan.

The first film was, even by Warren's standards, a little rough around the edges, with an impending lockdown likely factoring in there. This sequel is a tad bit more polished and sees Warren having far more fun with the concept. Out of all the films Warren makes-and she makes quite allot- these leprechaun movies do seem to be becoming an outlet for a particularly impish sense of humour. Leprechaun's Rage might not reveal its hand as an out and out comedy to the extent of say, Funnyman or I Bought a Vampire Motorcycle, but it does leave the impression that Warren directs these leprechaun movies with a wry grin on her face. The silliness here, including a spoof 'cash for gold' advert, the gold tooth that Chrissie Wunna sports towards the end, and dialogue like "you take me gold and then you try to go for me family jewels...how dare you", indicate that Leprechaun's Rage isn't crying out to be taken too seriously. Only once does Warren take a stab at out and out nastiness, with a bit of eyeball squashing violence.

Compared to the chilly looking Yorkshire Youth Hostel that Scott Jeffrey has been making movies at recently, Warren appears to have landed some very upmarket digs for The Leprechaun's Rage. The main location being- if not exactly the Manor House referred to in the dialogue- a nice suburban home complete with an indoor swimming pool. I'd guess at this being a rental place, rather than someone's actual home, going by the amount of Covid-19 guideline signs around. House rules about shoes being removed near the poolside area are written into the dialogue, and seem to have resulted in a continuity goof early on. One minute the half-brother is running away from the leprechaun with his shoes on, the next he is at the pool and down to his socks. Not even being pursued by a homicidal leprechaun causes etiquette to go out of the window at this place. Classy as the location looks, I'm not sure if I'd want to live in a neighbourhood where a woman can have a standoff confrontation with a leprechaun in her driveway and yet nobody walking by, nor the police van that goes past at one point, gives this spectacle a second glance. Whatever happened to neighbourhood watch? Warren herself shows up in this one, reprising her character from the first film, who inbetween films has become a cleaning lady (you can't accuse Warren of giving herself glamorous roles) and proud parent to a very plastic looking baby.

Curse of Bloody Mary (2021)

 

Back in early 2020 the Rebecca J Matthews/Scott Jeffrey team made a female version of Candyman called The Candy Witch, presumably intended to capitalize on the then forthcoming Candyman remake. Only for the pandemic to push back the release of the Candyman remake and leave The Candy Witch in the unfortunate situation of being an imitation of a film that had yet to be released. Now that the Candyman remake is finally upon on, Jeffrey is back with another female variation on the theme....Curse of Bloody Mary.

After a massacre caused by summoning the witch 'Bloody Mary' leaves most of the staff at a hostel dead, the sole survivor Francine (Chrissie Wuanna) attempts to appease the witch and save her own life, by luring unsuspecting holidaymakers to the hostel and offering them up to Bloody Mary instead. The latest unfortunates to check into the hostel being a group of former school friends, headed by estranged duo Elena (Antonia Whillans) and Dani (Sarah T Cohen) who fell out over a man as teenagers. Given that there appears to be little to do at the isolated countryside hostel, other than outdoor exercise routines and telling fireside ghost stories, the friends are foolishly talked into summoning Bloody Mary (by collectively saying her name three times into a mirror). At which point Francine attempts to split, having sold her customers out to the vengeful witch...clearly receiving glowing reviews on tripadvisor wasn't high on Francine's list of priorities.

Curse of Bloody Mary, or 'Summoning Bloody Mary' as it is currently listed on the IMDb (which claims the film isn't due for release till June 2022) echoes the same formula as recent Jeffrey productions Cannibal Troll and The Legend of Jack and Jill, with a group of friends embarking on an outdoor holiday only to come under attack from monsters, which forces them to put their differences and prior grievances aside. As with The Legend of Jack and Jill, Curse of Bloody Mary commits the mistake of placing greater emphasis on the soon-to-be victims, at the expense of the far more interesting baddies. Meaning that you have to sit through lots of chit-chat, squabbling and rambling (of both the talking and walking varieties) before the horror elements, teased in the opening scene, kick back in. Which is a pity as once she eventually shows up Bloody Mary (Abi Casson Thompson) makes for an effective screaming banshee who leaves you wanting more of her, and less of the non-supernatural characters. Sarah T Cohen and Antonia Whillans are two of the best young actresses currently on Jeffrey's books, but even they struggle to breath life into their bland roles here. Whereas The Candy Witch unexpectedly humanized its monster and convinced you she may have been justified in seeking revenge, there are only slight indications here -such as Bloody Mary sparing the life of a pregnant woman- of what lies behind Jeffrey's latest killing machine. Maybe subsequent efforts will improve on this, references to Bloody Mary in The Legend of Jack and Jill and (if I'm remembering rightly) Louisa Warren's Tooth Fairy: The Last Extraction, indicate she factors into the shared cinematic universe that is currently being built by Nu-Brit horror, but Mary's first solo outing is a rather rushed, low energy addition to this franchise.

Filmed on location at Longlands Hall, a youth hostel in Haworth, West Yorkshire, previously used in Dinosaur Hotel and Monsters of War. If the plight of the characters in these films doesn't evoke your sympathy, the uncomfortable looking bunk beds they have to sleep in, sure will. Anyone spending the night on one of them, is more likely to cry out "Bloody Nora" three times in a row, rather than Bloody Mary.

The Mutation (2021)

 

After a human-sized rat monster breaks loose from the country home of its creator Dr Peter Rowe, killing Rowe in the process, zoologists Julie Smith (Daryl Hannah lookalike Abi Casson Thompson) and Allen Marsh (Neil Oliver lookalike Richardo Freitas) are called in by the cops to track down ratty, assisted by the doctor's widow Linda Rowe (Amanda-Jade Tyler).

The Mutation, shot as 'Rats Reborn' diverts from the usual Scott Jeffrey production in a couple of respects. For one its centred around Marsh, a male character (Jeffrey, like Pete Walker before him, usually gravitates towards female leads) and is fairly metropolitan in its locations (Covid filming regulations having sent Jeffrey into the great outdoors for the last few movies). It also emphasizes the 'transatlantic' aspect of the production heavier than usual, with hard boiled dialogue and American accents all round, with the exception of Megan Purvis who gets landed with an Oirish accent for this one. Saying that, The Mutation doesn't totally conceal its UK origins, leaving in details like British car number plates and an on the spot news report captioned 'Breaking News- Mutated Rat seen in English Countryside'. The plot is the stuff of pulp horror novels with lines to match ("if you screw this up, I'll feed your balls to the animals you study in the goddamned zoo" and "hell, we have no evidence of anything right now, except some half assed theory about a potential serial, giant rat, killer"). If truth be told there's a little too much of the burgeoning romance between the recently separated Marsh and the recently widowed Rowe, but by Jeffrey standards The Mutation is a high energy affair, with ratman kill scenes generously popping up, as well as a full on massacre in a crowded restaurant. In another atypical touch, Jeffrey really goes for the gore here, with ratty being fond of pulling off limbs and cannibalising his victims. The Mutation gives the impression of having a bigger budget than Jeffrey usually gets to play with, the extra monies seemingly going in the direction of practical gore effects and a decent fight choreographer. Whenever the rat creature shows up, The Mutation takes on the appearance of a Scott Adkins movie, with the rat proving to be quite the accomplished martial artist and even potential victims managing to get punches and high kicks in there too...who knew Megan Purvis was such an ass kicker? While there are a few dull stretches and flat performances, overall The Mutation is a blood splattered step in the right direction for Jeffrey, and the kind of film you wish Charles Band was still making in the 21st century.