The Manson Family Massacre (2019)

(photo taken before i'd seen the film)

The worst thing that ever happened to Sharon Tate was- obviously -being butchered by crazy people. The second was becoming a footnote to the career of a sociopathic cult leader with unquestioning, hero worshipping followers. The third worst thing was becoming a footnote to the career of a sociopathic film director with unquestioning, hero worshipping followers, and the fourth are the cheap, cash-in movies that are currently attempting to ride on the gravy train of her becoming a footnote to the career of a sociopathic film director with unquestioning, hero worshipping followers.

The Manson Family Massacre sleepwalks through recreations of the Manson case and a 1990s wraparound story about a female singer getting bad vibes from the Tate house, but fleetingly becomes screamingly funny whenever it tries to pass off Wales (where it was filmed) as L.A (where its meant to be set). At one point I swear you can see a herd of sheep grazing on the green, green hills of what is meant to be Los Angeles. You occasionally laugh at The Manson Family Massacre, you feel the embarrassment of the actor playing Bernard Crowe who is given dialogue more befitting Rudy Ray Moore, you feel sorry for leading lady Brendee Green (who does appear to have some acting/singing talent) and wish she was in a better film, you feel sorry for yourself and wish you were watching a better film, but most of all…you feel nothing. The Manson Family Massacre is the kind of viewing experience best summed up by that 21st century expression ‘Meh’, surely the last response you’d expect from a Welsh made Charles Manson movie with a supernatural subplot.

For what it is worth, The Manson Family Massacre is surprisingly sympathetic towards Manson. ‘Helter Skelter’ theories are dismissed, and Manson is portrayed as an ambitious career criminal attempting to better himself in life with all this hippie cult malarkey, only to be brought down by out of control followers. The Manson Family Massacre preferring to paint ‘Tex’ Watson as the true villain of the piece. Sharon Tate is the victim of some finger waiving moralizing by the filmmakers, with mentions of marital infidelity, a subplot about missing porn loops featuring her, and the film at one point effectively saying she brought what happened onto herself by living life in the fast lane. All of which makes the end credits’ inclusion of a photo of the real Tate and other Manson family victims (captioned ‘in memoriam’) seem a grossly phoney and hypocritical gesture.

Say what you will about 1970s Manson-ploitation movies, ‘The Love Thrill Murders’, ‘I Drink Your Blood’, heck even ‘Wrong Way’ and ‘Snuff’ at least those films made good on their exploitation film potential, and seemed to give a damn about entertaining an audience. In comparison, The Manson Family Massacre is a dispassionate exercise in letting 80 minutes of film run through the camera and offloading the results onto supermarket DVD shelves. Were you one of those people who spent the 1990s complaining about the lack of low budget horror films being made in the UK? If so writer/director Andrew Jones (Robert, The Curse of Robert, The Revenge of Robert, Robert Reborn) was seemingly put on this earth to make you eat your words. Be careful what you wish for.

The Manson Family Massacre did though produce one of the most amusing pieces of IMDb trivia I’ve read in a long while “Linda Kasabian, who was present on the night of the real life murders at Cielo Drive, was originally included as a significant character in the script. An actress was cast to play the role of Kasabian but she left the production on her first day of filming after the caterer revealed there would be no chicken and chips served for lunch that day.” Doesn’t that tell you everything you need to know about this film. Bad taste should never be this boring, I’m sure both Manson and Sharon Tate would have fallen asleep through it.

(photo taken after i'd seen the film)