Gunpowder (1986)

 

Espionage, gold, and dairy products are the chief ingredients in this painfully under budgeted action comedy from British horror director Norman J. Warren. After bad guys shoot up a medical research centre and kidnap a female scientist, Gordon Jackson - playing George Cowley in all but name- enlists the help of two of Interpol's best agents Mr. Gunn (David Gilliam) and Mr. Powder (Martin Potter). A mismatched team, Gunn is a tough, no-nonsense American while Powder is an outrageous British queen who apologizes to thugs after beating them up "I do beg your pardon" and bitches that Gunn doesn't do anything but "swan about looking butch". Due to being double crossed by one of their own, the chalk and cheese duo quickly discover the man behind the kidnapping and a plot to destroy the price of gold is Dr Vache, a lunatic in command a private army emblazoned with the letter 'V' (just as well it was 'V', this film wouldn't have aged well if they'd gone with 'Z'). Alongside Bloody New Year, Gunpowder was part of Warren's mid-80's comeback after several years in the wilderness following Inseminoid. The straight to video results are a mixed bag to say the least. Their failings appearing to rest heavily on the shoulders of producer Maxine Julius (former editor of horror flicks 'Corruption' and 'Crucible of Terror) whose penny saving ways stunned even a low-budget veteran like Warren. At one point Julius is said to have suggested to the director that a scene involving a submarine could be simulated by a diver holding a drainpipe above water. Julius also reportedly filled the supporting cast with actors who lived in the local area, purely because she didn't want to pay to put them up in hotels. A casting strategy that explains the presence of several familiar faces from the Mancunian action films of Cliff Twemlow (though sadly not Cliff himself). Anthony Shaeffer ('Murray the nightclub owner' in G.B.H) enjoys a secondary role, while Twemlow heavies Steve Powell and John Saint Ryan show up for the finale. Powell was also the film's fight co-ordinator. Gunpowder frequently feels closer to a Lindsay Shonteff film than the usual Warren fare, trespassing into Shonteff's domain of 007 spoofs but with little of the over the top sight gags that Shonteff would have brought to the production. Even with a few of Twemlow's people to hand, the flair Warren had displayed for action scenes in Inseminoid largely deserts him here. In fairness there are a few amusing touches along the way...the bad guys pose as milkmen in order to pull off the opening kidnapping (a milk float being the ideal choice for an escape vehicle!), a location switch to France is indicated by the sight of a man on a bicycle wearing a beret, and the end credits bear the legend 'special thanks to Heald's Dairies for their generosity and goodwill in supplying their facilities, locations and milk floats'. Heald's Dairies might be the only ones pleased with the end results, with Gunpowder turning the (presumably insisted on) amount of product placement into one of its most memorable eccentricities. Melted gold is smuggled in Heald's Dairies milk cartons, and is transported about on Heald's Dairies milk floats, while characters have names like The Cream Brothers and Coffee Carradine ("your father was a milkman but they named you Coffee" quips Gunn). Coffee and Gunn also turn each other on by seductively reciting the names of various cheeses ("Stilton, Lancashire, Edam, Edam, Edam"). Gunpowder really is a 'for completionists only' title in Warren's filmography. There's good reason why this hasn't shown up on any Warren box-sets (it did quietly slip out on UK DVD a few years ago) but I do always get a laugh out of the scene where Martin Potter instructs a karate class by repeatedly barking at them like a dog. Gunpowder has been sprung from obscurity jail and uploaded to YouTube by the Flick Vault channel, who unfortunately have implemented their usual policy of cutting the end credits off their movies, depriving us of that hilarious Heald's Dairies acknowledgement. Their version also carries the onscreen title 'Kommando Gold Crash' which does rather spoil the titular pun on the two characters' names. David Gilliam is Gunn, Martin Potter is Powder...together they are KOMMANDO GOLD CRASH.