Another
stab at literature from comedian Charlie Chester, Bannerman gives new meaning
to the term 'multi-genred' beginning in yob lit territory, suddenly becoming
about boxing, then managing to work in wife swapping before becoming a war
novel...and that's only in the initial fifty pages of this thing. If you're
looking for evidence of Charlie Chester being a dirty old man, you've also come
to the right place, we're barely off page one before he's banging on about
schoolgirls... be in no doubt, Mister Chester likes his little girls in socks.
The book lead me to the still unsolved mystery of
how Bannerman relates to Chester's earlier novel Bannerman Amen (1972), if it
does at all. There's evidence throughout Bannerman of it being a sequel novel
with lots of references to the protagonist Mick Bannerman being a chip off the
old block, his father's son, just like his father etc, etc...giving the
impression that the exploits of Bannerman senior is something we should all be
familiar with. Logically then you'd think that Bannerman Amen documented the story
of Bannerman's father and this is Chester's 'Son of Bannerman' follow up.
However, it appears that the main character in Bannerman Amen was called Vince
Bannerman whereas Bannerman's father in this book is called Ben Bannerman. My
theory is that Chester intended this as a sequel to Bannerman Amen, only for
this idea to be nixed by New English Library who wouldn't have wanted to give
Bannerman Amen any free publicity, since it was put out by another publisher
and its existence worked against NEL's attempts to portray Bannerman as
Chester's debut fictional novel. The back cover blurb claiming 'with Bannerman,
Charlie Chester - an international star of entertainment -can now add novelist
to his long list of talents'.
Chester's fame might have been a major selling
point for the book, but he leaves his family friendly reputation at the door
with Bannerman. The opening chapter finding the teenage Mick Bannerman being
overcome with lust for a girl from his school, to the extent that he decides to
rape her. 'It wasn't his fault that her long blonde silky hair, and her milky
white skin with those delicate rosy cheeks had been driving him crazy with
yearning for her'. The meticulous planning that goes into the rape and the
explicit description of its execution leaves you with the uncomfortable feeling
of being in the company of an author who was getting off on sexualizing a young
girl and her rape 'with vicious thrusts he seemed to be severing her in two'.
The narrative then turns its attention to Jimmy Wall, 'Brick' to his friends, a
wannabe championship boxer and brother of Bannerman's victim, 'Goldilocks' to
her friends. Being told of his sister's rape immediately before getting in the
ring, leads Brick to lose control "just imagine what you would do if he
was the bloke who raped young Goldilocks" working off his rage on his
opponent, accidentally killing the man in the process.
Chester seems to have borrowed from his friend
James Moffatt, when it comes to Bannerman reinventing himself as a social
climber upon his release from borstal, marrying into money and becoming a
successful businessman. Mirroring the storyline of Moffatt's skinhead series,
whose protagonist Joe Hawkins went from anti-social menace to city slicker in
the first sequel novel 'Suedehead'.
For the first half of the book Chester takes the
unorthodox route of telling Bannerman's story entirely through the eyes of
others. Namely Brick, presumably to give the book a moral centre, Brick being
the type of principled, ethical pugilist who refuses to throw a fight, and
suffers because of it. The other character whose rented eyes we see Bannerman
through is his well to do wife Cora...for perhaps less moral reasons on
Chester's part. Cora's back-story, and transition from girl to woman, allowing
Chester the opportunity to return to his jailbait fixations. 'Even as a long
legged juvenile, Cora had had something extra. The boys were crazy about her,
and since then, nature had weaved it's miracle. The embarrassing little bumps
on her chest had long since awakened to life and swelled with majestic feminine
pride'. Chester's aversion to a first person narrative doesn't always pay off.
As we are denied a firsthand audience with Bannerman himself for the opening
half of the book, it's difficult to get much insight into what makes him tick,
or how we're meant to feel about him. Were it not for the nasty business with
the schoolgirl at the start of the book, Bannerman would come across as a
Leslie Phillips type bounder whose crooked schemes and womanizing we might be
persuaded to cheer on.
Strangely the point when Bannerman takes centre
stage, is the point when the book hits a dull, uninteresting patch from which
it never fully recovers. Falling asleep at the wheel during the third act being
an unfortunate trait of Chester's books. Bannerman, now into middle age,
decides to reinvent himself again as a mastermind behind several daring
robberies and ultimately a plan to blackmail an insurance company. The problem
with this part of the book is that Bannerman's non-violent, victimless, white
collar crimes always entirely go to plan, hitting absolutely no hitches
whatsoever, and thus generating little suspense or excitement.
The book only jump starts back to life, and
reverts to its sleaze origins, when Bannerman seduces Margaret Sanderson, a
prim and proper secretary, in order to extract information about the insurance
company she works for. Even when the sex is consensual in Chester's books, it
tends to be of the brutish and aggressive variety. That's how CC's women like
it, "Ohhh god yes, hurt me" begs Sanderson. For an apparent lothario
though, Bannerman is surprisingly uninspired when it comes to sexy time chat,
repeating "Maggie, you're so lovely" to her over and over, then after
their relationship has been consummated adding "my god, that was beautiful
and quite a surprise in a way". Compare and contrast with Bannerman's
swinger pal Max, who appears to have snapped up Chester's best bedroom chat up
lines. "I'm a hunter, a confessed bull" he tells Cora, who also turns
out to like it rough, crying out "That's it, make me pay, oh more, MORE,
MAKE ME PAY".
Rumour has it that Chester 'wrote' his NEL books
by dictating them in their entirety to his secretary, straight off the top of
his head. Meaning that what you are reading is essentially straight from
Chester's mind and onto the printed page, with very little by way of rewriting
or editing. Terrible I know, but I can't help but be amused by the idea of a
woman going to work as a secretary to Charlie Chester, no doubt expecting an
atmosphere of music hall gayety, only to find herself typing out things like
"if there's one way of getting a fire quicker than rubbing two sticks
together, it's rubbing between a wife and a part time pussy". Chester's
making-it-up-as-he-went-along approach lends the book an unpredictability. Say
what you will about Bannerman but it's impossible to second guess where it's
going, and it can feel like a completely different book to the one you were
reading half an hour before. Bannerman is like getting lost in Charlie
Chester's brain without a map, CC's grey matter being populated by sexy
schoolgirls, Masai warriors, wife swappers, a phony reverend and homing
pigeons, all of whom figure in Bannerman's storyline...somehow. However, while
I have enjoyed other Chester books like Even the Rainbow's Bent and Symphony
& Psychopath, the lacklustre third act means that this one was a step down
for me. Bannerman is less a case of Bannerman Amen, and more Bannerman A-Mess.
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