Sunday, 26 March 2017

The Eye of Satan (1988)

A look at 1988’s The Eye of Satan, a mixture of British horror and British gangster film starring Cliff ‘GBH’ Twemlow. I do have this irritating habit of pronouncing his ‘Twem-a-low’ (as in the band The Tremeloes) so apologies in advance if I’ve screwed up the pronunciation anytime during this video. I do like to champion his films, even if i have trouble getting his name right!!!

 




Saturday, 11 March 2017

Groupie Girl (1970)

A Youtube look at the 1970 Derek Ford directed film Groupie Girl starring one-movie wonder Esme Johns. Followed by (below) rare stills from the film and archive interviews with Johns and GG writer Suzanne Mercer.


 

 

 

Excerpt from Picnic Frolics featuring GG star Esme Johns (and Sue Bond)




Esme Johns interview





Suzanne Mercer interview (circa 1973)



Tuesday, 21 February 2017

A Touch of the Other (1970)

Its Youtube time again as I take a look at Arnold Louis Miller’s 1970 crime/comedy/softcore/Kenneth Cope vehicle ‘A Touch of the Other’ aka House of Hookers.











Monday, 13 February 2017

My Bare Lady (1962)

I’m back on youtube, this time to take a look at the 1962 film ‘My Bare Lady’ the only British nudist camp film to explain what a pasty is and to deal with the touchy subjects of post-traumatic stress disorder and bare assed milkmen.


 









Tuesday, 7 February 2017

The Chimney Sweeps (1963)

I never thought I’d get to see any of The Chimney Sweeps, a rare non-sexploitation vehicle for Harrison Marks and Stuart Samuels, that played for about a week as a second feature in 1963, so was pleasantly surprised to see that a ‘live’ screening of a short version of the film has made it onto Youtube. Sightings of The Chimney Sweeps after its brief theatrical run have been few and far between, although the film appears to have turned up in Turkey at some point as the second feature to an old Laurel and Hardy film (see poster below) and presumably was released onto the 8mm market in a condensed version, which appears to be what has surfaced on Youtube.

The original version of the film ran 43 minutes and included a subplot about ‘two comic burglars’ and a cameo from Pamela Green, nether of which made it into this seven minute version. Still this nevertheless gives you an idea of the favour of this slapstick silent comedy throwback with Marks and Stuart Samuels (looking like he has just come back from an audition for Carnival of Souls) hamming it up as the titular pair of accident prone workmen. So who knows, maybe there still is a chance that Marks' 'lost' 1967 film Pattern of Evil/Fornicon might turn up one day as well.








Wednesday, 25 January 2017

The Master Demon (1991)




Two weeks, and a hundred flubbed takes later, here I am making a meal out of reviewing 1991’s The Master Demon.  In the event that you can’t make out what I am saying, which is highly likely, a transcript follows, and the film itself is up on youtube in its entirety, or as I mention in the video available in all bad branches of C.E.X

 

Imagine Big Trouble in Little China had it been made by Renee Harmon rather than John Carpenter, and that might give you an idea of what to expect from The Master Demon.

While I should perhaps clarify that Ms. Harmon didn’t actually have anything to do with this film, The Master Demon is very reminiscent of her Executioner Part 2/Lady Street Fighter style of a ‘C’ bordering on a ‘D’ level action movie, complete with lead actors who otherwise tended to only get lower down the credits roles in regular movies, a fair amount of walking to and from rundown hotels and around Hollywood Boulevard, giving the film that sleazy low-budget LA feel, as well as action scenes that look as if they were filmed in the producers’ front room.

‘Confused’ might be the kindest way to describe the opening half of the film, and tellingly the filmmakers rely on voiceovers from two different characters, and a narrator, in order to try and make sense of what is going on. Here is what I could decipher… the film begins a few centuries ago, and in the midst of a battle to the death between good guy ‘The White Warrior’ and evil magician The Master Demon, who in a shorthand way of establishing his villainy is wearing red, and has part of his face all scarred and messed up (the make-up here is terrible). Anyway the White Warrior is fatally injured in the fight, but manages to sever the hand of the Master Demon, takes it to a Shaolin temple, where a monk locks the severed hand away in a box and puts a spell on it, a spell that dictates that the Master Demon will remain powerless until the hand is reunited with the rest of him. Cut to present day LA, where the current owner of the box uses magic to summon up one of the Master Demon’s disciples, played by a female bodybuilder. There is an blatant fem dom fetish at work in this film, with lots of scenes taken up by this extensively pumped up woman going around punching and beating up guys, then snapping their necks with her considerable biceps, all done in order to locate the box with the severed hand in it and restore the Master Demon to his former glory. Entering into the proceedings at this point is a wimpy, low-rent private eye called Cameron, who comes into ownership of the box, and as a result finds himself terrorised by both the female bodybuilder and the Master Demon’s severed hand which crawls around like in one of those old Amicus horror films.

Now, I know what you’re thinking “this doesn’t sound too much like Big Trouble in Little China”, and you’d have a point, but it does begin to reveal its John Carpenter influence at this point, as Cameron meets Tong Lee, a descendant of the White Warrior, who is a bit of a chip off the old block in the karate stakes. At which point the film becomes a buddy action movie with an American guy and an Asian guy teaming up to do battle against an evil Chinese magician who can fire lightning bolts from his hands, ah, now where have we seen that before? As with Big Trouble in Little China the film does get some mileage out of playing around with traditional racial roles, Tong Lee emerges as the real action hero of the piece, while Cameron becomes the bumbling, ineffectual comedy relief, who despite his claim to love to “kick back and kick ass”, tends to mainly favour the kicking back part of that claim. At one point the film even satirises Hollywood racism of old, when Cameron runs away from the female bodybuilder whilst wailing “feet don’t fail me now” like the black sidekick in an old Bob Hope film.

The film’s imitative qualities do ironically lend it some uniqueness, since the original box office failure of Big Trouble in Little China meant it didn’t spawn a great deal of rip-offs. It should be mentioned that The Master Demon was actually made in 1987, and only released in 1991, and given the production date you can’t help thinking that the makers of The Master Demon were anticipating Big Trouble in Little China to be a bigger success than it actually was. To add to the comparisons between the two films, at least two of the cast members here, Eric Lee and Gerald Okamura, did actually have secondary roles in Big Trouble in Little China. Also in the cast is Ava Cadell, who wasn’t in Big Trouble in Little China, but whose breasts you might recall from such Hollywood fare as Commando and the remake of Not of this Earth, as well as various 1970s British sex comedies and the early days of Page 3 of The Sun. Ava gets a larger than usual role from her Hollywood period here, playing Cameron’s secretary, who is also the love interest of a cop who is on the Master Demon’s tail, and for those reasons finds herself being kidnapped by the Master Demon. Not long after making the film Ava would reinvent herself as sex therapist Dr Ava Cadell, which is somewhat ironic given the utterly unsatisfactory sex life her character here has with her aged cop boyfriend. After their obligatory sex scene, which isn’t all that sexy, she gets woken up by his loud snoring, and you’re left with the impression that if ever there was a couple in dire need of Dr Cadell’s sex therapy and tips for spicing up your love life then it is these two. In keeping with the film’s fem dom theme, Ava’s character isn’t just a lover though, but also a fighter, and towards the end of the film gets to show off some karate moves on the bad guys, her ability to pull off said karate moves being only slightly hindered by her ample bosom. I hadn’t realised till watching this film, and doing some research into it, but it appears that Ava is actually a real life black belt in karate, something you should perhaps keep in mind before making cheap jokes about her ample bosom, or asking any awkward questions about her early appearances in John Lindsay films….nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean.

The Master Demon is, as I hope I’m conveying here, a whole lot of lively B-movie fun, I have a feeling that I’d have gotten even more out of if I was one of those gentlemen who enjoyed being bounced off the walls, and beaten into submission by female bodybuilders… you know who you are… but taken for what it is, a dopey little direct to video movie from the tail end of the VHS rental period with its opportunistic fingers in the action, horror and erotic thriller genres, The Master Demon is pretty hard to dislike. It’s the kind of film you’d expect to see on sale at CEX for 50p, in fact it is on sale at CEX for 50p. So I doubt you’d feel short changed by it at that price, and in the unlikely event that you do, you can always take it back and exchange it for a CEX voucher for the grand sum of 1p, valid for 100 years….don’t spend it all at once.

Tuesday, 13 September 2016

Black Sabbath


With Halloween just around the corner it seems appropriate that another horror themed 8mm sex film has resurfaced, courtesy of ‘Sgt. Rock’. Sharing its name with both a Mario Bava film and Ozzy’s old band BLACK SABBATH is yet another effort by the East London company ‘Collector’s Corner’ who were also responsible for Miss Frankenstein (aka Lady Frankenstein) which shares this film’s horror touches and its frequently undressed star Lisa Brent. By day Collector’s Corner’s bread and butter came from supplying the British public with 8mm copies of old movies, and the company was considered a serious rival to the likes of Mountain films and Derann. Presumably seeing the success of glamour and sex films in the 8mm market led Collector’s Corner towards making their own ‘in house’ productions like this and Miss Frankenstein (a third horror themed 8mm sex film of theirs ‘Taste of Dracula’ is proving to be elusive). So while providing the home viewer with 8mm copies of Battleship Potemkin and the works of W.C. Fields, Chaplin and Keaton was what Collector’s Corner did to entertain others, Black Sabbath suggests that filming naked women and dressing up as apes, goats and satan was what Collector’s Corner did to entertain themselves.

The occult theme to Black Sabbath would date the film to about the very late sixties or early seventies. That being the period when witchcraft was the flavour of the month with sexploitation people, and would see Legend of the Witches playing for months and months in the West End, the publication of Witchcraft magazine “the monthly chronicle of horror, Satanism and the occult”, the clandestine release of the blue movie Satan’s Children, and the likes of Virgin Witch and Secret Rites being just around the corner. Black Sabbath further strengthens my belief that Collector’s Corner were cineastes and horror buffs first and foremost who were dabbling in the sexploitation realm for commercial reasons. The Collector’s Corner output tends to play like amateur horror films of the period whose makers decided to hire a nude model and film some full frontal shots in order to give their films wider appeal and exposure outside of amateur filmmaking societies.


 

In an about turn from playing the titular villainess in Miss Frankenstein, Lisa Brent here plays victim to a cult of sinister robed figures. One member of this coven resembles an Ape, another a Goat (its up for debate whether we’re meant to take these character as simply men with animal masks on or actual man/animal creatures). Amidst bongo music playing by another member of the coven, the Ape and the Goat torment Brent by ermm spinning around in circles (presumably making themselves quite dizzy in the process) in what seem less like a black mass and more like the type of horror themed dance routine that TOTP might have asked Pan’s People to perform. This is enough however to conjure up Satan who arrives in a puff of smoke and really gets the kinky party started by whipping Brent, forcing her to drink his blood and violating her with a dildo.

Severe as it sounds Black Sabbath tends to shy away from the explicitness of the slightly similar Satan’s Children (and if you’ve ever suffered through the limp dicked antics of that film you’ll be grateful we don’t get a retread of that here) and the ludicrousness of the ape and goat costumes, plus their dance routine and Brent’s very hammy acting do lighten the mood a tiny bit. Overall Black Sabbath has the feel of a mischief making lark designed to wind up and put the frighteners on squares who ‘d have read about ‘this sort of thing happening’ in the News of the World, but strikes up a sufficiently nightmarish atmosphere to warrant to attention of British horror film aficionados .




Above: Black Sabbath on Youtube

Sgt. Rock has kindly uploaded Black Sabbath in its entirely to Youtube as an example of his 8mm film to DVD transferring service. After an unfortunate career setback, Sgt. Rock is now offering to transfer to DVD (for free) any of your old 8mm sex or glamour films that take his fancy, in the hope that this might motivate others to search their dusty attics and basements for long forgotten 8mm erotica that Sgt. Rock can breathe second life into by transferring to DVD. Who knows maybe ‘Taste of Dracula’ might even resurface. Anyone interested in taking the Sarge up on his offer can
(contact details removed: see follow on comment)