Sunday 21 October 2018

Skyscraper (1996)


I hereby predict that in a few years from now, once people have exhausted 1980s nostalgia and moved on to getting all misty eyed over the direct to video action films and erotic thrillers of the 1990s, then Skyscraper will be worshipped in the same way that people today queue up to worship at the altars of Ninja 3: The Domination and The Miami Connection. Like those films, Skyscraper is very era specific in its ludicrousness, actors who look like Fabio, the use of pagers, purportedly ‘erotic’ sex scenes that will make you laugh out loud and Eurotrash villains who quote Shakespeare and speak pidgin French….N'est-ce pas. Skyscraper’s day as a cult item must surely beckon.


Nothing- not even exposure to the likes of Nai Bonet, Julie Lee and Renee Harmon- can quite prepare you for the experience that is an Anna Nicole Smith acting performance. Yet had this film been made with a B-level male action star in the lead it would probably be just another forgettable, cheap, by the numbers Die Hard imitation, whereas Anna Nicole Smith could never be accused of being forgettable, paradoxically she is the worst thing about this film and the most memorable thing about this film too. God bless her and her melon heavy breasts. 



3 comments:

THX 1139 said...

If there had been an award for "Most Gratuitous Sex Scene in a STV movie" in the 1990s, Skyscraper would have won hands down (or pants down). Feel a bit sorry for Anna Nicole, though, she was absolutely chronic. Even sadder, now if you mention a film called Skyscraper, everyone will immediately think of The Rock.

gavcrimson said...

You are left with the overall impression that someone must have had quite a hunger to cash in on her fame in order to turn that much of a blind eye to her lack of acting talent. Saying that she is credited as one of the producers on the film, which would suggest she had a hand in orchestrating it herself.

THX 1139 said...

You know, I can claim to have seen two of her films in the cinema, The Hudsucker Proxy and The Naked Gun 33 1/3, and she wasn't that bad in them, even with the indignity of playing a comedy transsexual in the latter. But she sure couldn't carry the whole show, judging by Skyscraper.